Tired Mom

May 1st is a BIG Day!

2010-03-02T22:29:00.010-07:00

May 1st is the Walk Now for Autism Speaks event. The walk takes place in Heritage Park here in Utah and my sister and I have registered to join in on the action! Our goal, as a team, is to raise $500 towards the cause and we're hoping we can meet (or beat) that goal. If any of you would be willing/able to donate, that would be EXTREMELY appreciated! If you're not able to donate and you live in the area, please consider joining us during the walk! Thank you all!

Here is the general info page regarding the walk:
http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=331507

Here is the link to our team page. There's a spot on the left where you can make a donation:
http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=331507&lis=1&kntae331507=B6CF9DF8FA7C464A9B689D3C4E616F1C&supId=0&team=3674337&cj=Y

Also, the Pepsi Refresh Project has been extended another month! That means that the Tommy Foundation (aka The United States of Autism), which is an organization trying to raise money and awareness for Autism therapies, gets another chance! They're currently ranked 4th (the top 10 foundations get funding). You're allowed to vote on a daily basis, so please take a second to vote for this AMAZING organization!

http://www.refresheverything.com/usofautism

Update, with GREAT news!

2010-02-28T12:40:00.004-07:00

Great/funny/aggravating things have been happening around here. First, I want to mention that my Husband is so AWESOME!!! He's been an enormous help to me; with chores, watching kids, or giving me foot rubs - he's just the best man ever! I really appreciate all his help and kindness. My wonderful hubby also turned 33 a week ago. He had a small LAN party to celebrate and he enjoyed showing off his new toy - a new computer.

Macho has had a difficult last two weeks. The antibiotic he was taking for his infection caused severe diarrhea, which meant I was changing him once every 1/2 hour. His skin is very sensitive and gets irritated easily. Needless to say, changing his diaper always made him very upset. Thankfully, he's finished with the medicine and the last couple of days has been better. However, last night Macho kept me up all night 'cause he was congested and couldn't sleep. WHEN WILL THIS END?!!

Beauty also finished her antibiotic and seems to be doing really well. There's no sign of a cough or stuffy nose anymore, but she is having difficulty sleeping again. Two nights ago, after over two months of no incidents, she woke up screaming in the middle of the night. I'm hoping that was just a fluke and not a sign of things to come.

Something that Macho does a lot that I CAN'T STAND - he's always finding dirt! lol I know for some people this can't possibly seem like a bad thing, but you don't know what it's like! Anyone that knows me already knows that I keep my house extremely clean and tidy. However, it seems like it's not enough for my OCD son. Macho will look behind - and under - the garbage can to see if I've missed anything during my sweeping. He looks for crumbs under the table, lint on the carpet, and he looks for dirt on his favorite blanket. I can't count how many times I hear him say, "Dirt!" Luckily for me, I've trained him to throw away the dirt he finds on his own, instead of giving it to me.

Something SO CUTE that the kids do is they hug each other all the time! Macho will say, "'Beauty' big hug," and she runs over to him and they put their arms around each other. It's so adorable! It makes me smile every time I see my kids being so loving. And it's really cute how well they're playing together. Beauty actually likes hanging out with her brother now. Imagine that!

Macho has this need to fix things - He's such a man! lol Every time I pull out the screwdriver to replace batteries, he wants to help. I finally caved in and bought him a toddler tool set. It came with a tool belt, walkie talkie, flash light, a hard hat, a pair of goggles, a hammer and of course, a screwdriver. Needless to say, his favorite thing is the screwdriver. Macho goes around the house, flips his electronic toys upside down, and pretends to replace the batteries. He looks so cute being a little Mr. Fix It guy!

Beauty also likes his tool set, but one thing in particular really grabbed her. She loves the goggles. They have an orange tinge on them, so when she puts them on, everything looks orange. The first time she wore them, she went around the house pointing out that everything was orange: "Dada orange. Mama orange. Couch orange. Dog orange." It was really cute and funny.

Lately, Beauty has picked up this really annoying habit of constantly tucking in the top parts of her diaper. She basically ends up lowering her diaper and she does this in her sleep too. Somtimes, she ends up altering the diaper enough that when it's time for her to use it, she ends up spilling over onto her pants, socks and the floor. This has been going on for about a month now. I'm praying she stops this new habit of hers VERY soon.

I'm so happy to say that Beauty is making really great progress on learning to read. It's turned into a nightly ritual where Beauty asks Hubby or I to play with the aquadoodle, so every night, she practices reading. She can now identify her name, her brother's name, mama, dada, bird, ball, bed, bug, cow, dog, egg, hat, owl, pig, sheep, sun, tree, apple, frog, fish, and cat. I'm sure there are other words I can't remember at the moment.

The BIGGEST and BESTEST thing to happen recently: Beauty reversed a pronoun! Back on the 19th, Hubby was pointing out her pajama pants. He said, "'Beauty' you have dogs on your pants." Without any hesitation, she said very clearly, "Dogs on my pants." And just to confirm, Hubby said the same sentence again and she repeated herself again: "Dogs on my pants." How AWESOME is that?! This was a huge step for her and we're hoping this is just the start of the pronoun phenomenon!

Four Great Things Autism Related...

2010-02-19T22:44:00.015-07:00

Toys R Us is doing a fundraiser for Autism Speaks starting Feb. 28th through April 30th.
http://http//www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2623255

New Autism Treatment!!!
http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/curemark-cm-at-autism-treatment-granted-fda-fast-track-status-84951682.html

The Lindt chocolate company is also doing a fundraiser for Autism Speaks! Now through Easter, for every Gold Bunny purchased, 10 cents will be donated to the organization. Also, if you send a free e-card through their website, they'll donate $1 for the first 5,000 e-cards sent!
http://www.lindtgoldbunny.com/index.php

Walks to raise money for Autism - Look for an event near you!
http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/site/c.igIRL6PIJrH/b.4356939/k.BF85/Home.htm

USA Olympic teams show support for Autism

2010-02-19T15:06:00.004-07:00

This is so cool of them! Let's show our support too!

http://www.autismspeaks.org/inthenews/bobsled_skeleton_pin_vancouver_olympics.php

And Congratulations to the USA Bobsled Team on their Gold Medal!!!

Good Riddance!!!

2010-02-18T22:29:00.004-07:00

The doctor responsible for the whole "vaccines cause Autism" scare quit working at the U.S. Clinic he opened. YAY!!!!!!!!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article7032762.ece

Happy Stuff...

2010-02-17T12:18:00.005-07:00

(This blog was posted 2-15-10)

A few days ago I posted my "crappy blog" with the intention of posting my happy blog right after. However, I've had very little time on the computer lately (sick kids). So, without further ado, here's my happy blog =)

Macho has been doing really well lately. He had his 2-year check-up late last month and came in at 30 lbs and 3 ft 1/2 in tall. It's just amazing to me how tall he is and how much he's grown. He's just starting to outgrow his 2T clothes. You'd think a 30 lb toddler would look "chubby," but no, he is ALL muscle! He's constantly pushing, pulling, and lifting anything he can get his hands on. He's also been talking up a storm! There are many words he can say very clearly and he tries repeating everything he hears. He also spends most of the day pointing to things, wanting to know exactly what they're called. I've got one very curious little man on my hands!

Macho's big thing lately is reading books. He LOVES books! Obviously he can't read yet, but he loves pulling out a book, sitting down, opening the book and saying, "Oh, Wow!" He goes through all his books and identifies everything. A funny thing he does now is insisting on reading a book while I'm changing his diaper. LOL! And if he wants a "big kid" book (the ones with actual stories), he'll bring it to me so I can read it to him. He does a pretty good job of paying attention, too. One of the CUTEST things though, is one of Macho's new habits. He's just such a happy little boy and he loves everything so much that he kisses everything - even his toys! It's so adorable to see him bend over, put his lips together and kiss his fire truck with a big "mwah" sound!

Beauty has been coming along very well also. At her 4-year check-up last month, she was 38 lbs and 3 ft 4 in tall. She seems to be holding steady in her 5T clothes (thankfully). Something I'm SO HAPPY to announce: Beauty is putting together more sentences by herself. She even said a 5 word sentence a couple of weeks ago. I was preparing to put Macho down for his nap and I told her it was time to put him to bed. She said, "Mama put 'Macho' go feepy." I blinked. I actually stopped walking and said to myself, "Did she really just say that?!" She's said many different kinds of sentences since then. She's talking enough now that sometimes I even wish she'd be quiet for a little bit!

Something else that's big for Beauty: she's learning to read! Now, I do have to acknowledge that she's probably just memorizing the words instead of actually reading them, but it's a start. Here's a list of the words she can identify: her name, Macho's name, mama, dada, bird, ball, bed, bug, cow, dog, egg, hat, owl, pig, sheep, sun, and tree. We're working on new words all the time and she just loves it!

A victory for me is I've gotten rid of 95% of all our old baby stuff! I've gotten rid of everything; old clothes, bibs, blankets, bouncer, cradle, high chair, coats - everything! Yay! This means I don't have a bunch of things not currently in use taking up space in my house. The only things left now are a small potty, a potty seat, a hanging diaper organizer, and a diaper genie (which I'll get rid of once Macho is potty trained). I also have a stroller I'm trying to get out of my house, but I can't seem to find anyone that needs it. I may end up just selling it to Kid to Kid or on Ebay.

A big personal victory for me: I got CARDED! lol... I was at Walmart stocking up on medicines for the whole family when all of a sudden the cashier started staring at me. I didn't notice him staring until he said, "Yes?" I said, "What?" Then he said, "I need to see your I.D. to make sure you're over 18 years of age." I responded, "HAHA, I'm 30!", to which he said, "OH! Well, you look very good for your age." That made me so happy!

Autism Related Info

2010-02-12T23:23:00.004-07:00

This link is an interesting little "Autism Test." Apparently, if you score a 32 or higher, it means there is a possibility you may have autistic tendencies. The average score for "regular" people is around 16. I took the test and I scored a 26, which means I have some eccentricities, but not enough of them to classify myself as autistic. Anyway, like I said, it's just an interesting quiz.

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

The following link shows EVEN MORE EVIDENCE that vaccines and autism are not linked. I actually found out from Hubby that the guy who did the original study in Europe back in 1998 falsified his findings intentionally. Why? Because he was getting paid to do it. On top of that, since he scared so many people into thinking the original MMR vaccine is bad, he's patented his own version of the vaccine! What a scumbag!

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/08/did-the-media-inflame-the-vaccine-autism-link/

Crappy Stuff...

2010-02-05T10:19:00.020-07:00

I have a lot of different things that I've been meaning to blog about; half of them good, half of them not so good. So, I decided to divide them up. This post will talk about the "crappy stuff," or the not so fun stuff that's happened in the last few weeks.

In a previous post, I mentioned how we were having electrical problems in the house. The "electrician" we called did the initial job for about $300. Four days later, half of our house lost electricity. When we called him (long story short), he basically said we needed to "pigtail" every single outlet and light-switch. The price? $1,100!! We had him do that two days later, and during that visit, he said we needed all new light fixtures (another $1000). That didn't sound right to me or Hubby, so we called one of our good friends who knows his way around wires. He looked at our fixtures, fixed the problems for us, and all it cost was a trip to Home Depot for $100. Thank You Wil! I think in the future, we'll just call him instead of a sleazy electrician!

The next "bad" thing is that the kids have been sick almost a solid 2 months now! Beauty has been on various medicines and two antibiotics for infections. Naturally, Macho catches everything from his sister, so he's been on his fair share of medicines, too. Currently, Beauty has managed to catch another cold (probably from her parents, who have been sick the last two weeks) and she's been having trouble sleeping from all the congestion and coughing. We're trying some different over the counter medicines with her for the next few days. We'll see how it goes!

I finally got around to cutting Macho's hair. Why is this under the "bad" category? Because it took me 45 minutes! It shouldn't have taken more than 5 minutes, but Macho really doesn't like having his hair messed with and he really doesn't like scissors! I had to follow him around and try to be sneaky and get quick cuts in. Apparently, I'm not sneaky enough 'cause he bellowed and cried and shook his head everytime I touched him. In the end though, I got the job done. Now I can relax, knowing my boy's hair is an appropriate length (at least for the next 2 months anyway!).

One final "bad" - I haven't lost any weight in the last month! (I haven't gained any either, thankfully.) I think it's from all the stress with the kids being sick and not sleeping. I've been sick too, so that probably hasn't helped. Hopefully I can make up some ground in the next few weeks.

HBO movie about "Temple Grandin," an Autistic woman

2010-01-25T14:12:00.002-07:00

Autism Speaks has partnered with HBO to make a movie about a woman with Autism, her name is Temple Grandin. The movie premieres on HBO on Feb. 6th.

http://blog.autismspeaks.org/2010/01/25/tune-in-temple-grandin-on-hbo-2/

Serious Venting!

2010-01-20T14:35:00.007-07:00

So, there's this woman in my ward who is in charge of taking care of the kids in nursery for a couple of hours during church. She's a little weird; a little off, but she's nice enough. Anyway, in the past, she has made a couple of remarks about how difficult it is taking care of Beauty during those two hours. She's never flat-out complained about it, but Hubby and I could tell that she felt it was a burden. Since Macho turned 18 mo. old six months ago, Hubby or I have made it a point to stay in the nursery because Macho gets very upset if one of us isn't in there with him. Which means that for the last 6 months, one of us is always in there watching over BOTH kids. Surely, the nursery teacher shouldn't feel so "burdened" anymore, right? Well....

A few weeks ago, I believe it was the first Sunday of the month, someone came in to find out the new number of kids in the nursery. The nursery teacher said the number, and then she said, "Though, Beauty really should be in Primary, but, you know...." This remark bothered me, and mind you, both Hubby and I were standing right there. I spoke up and said, "Well, Beauty just can't be in Primary. She doesn't sit for very long and she wouldn't be able to understand the lessons and be quiet for long periods of time."

There is another boy in the nursery class who is also a special needs child (he's really sweet, btw, and his dad always stays in nursery with him too). I bring him up because the nursery teacher had the nerve to look at that boy's father (and mind you, this little boy is a whole year younger than Beauty) and she said, "So, when is he going to Primary?"

What the heck???? I mean, is her calling as teacher so terrible, so unbelievably more difficult by having these two special kids in the nursery? I mean, it's not like she's really even teaching a lesson anyway. The nursery has little kids in it and all they do is play with toys for two hours and eat snacks in the middle. That's it! Why is it so terrible for this woman to have to "put up" with my little girl? And on top of that, the parents are always in the class with their kids, so it's not like she's really watching them anyway!

Oh, and she even had the audacity to make a remark straight to Hubby's face a little later that same day. Hubby and I have been trying to gently ease Macho into staying in the nursery by himself, without one of us in the room with him. This particular Sunday, Hubby stepped out the room, but he continued watching the kids through the little window in the door. A little while later, Macho started crying, so Hubby went back inside immediately. The nursery teacher said, "He's crying because Beauty won't put the toys away. Something's gotta change." She was almost implying that we, Beauty's parents, were not doing a sufficient job with our daughter. RUDE!!!!

Even Hubby got upset about it, but he didn't say anything. I, on the other hand, would LOVE to lay into this woman and set her straight: "You think it's hard dealing with her for two hours? You have NO IDEA what we go through with her day in and day out, 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week. Let's see YOU do any better!" But no, I'm refraining because I know that if I did talk to her, even if I was polite about it, the message wouldn't get across. She's just one of those people who would shrug it off, or she'd say, "Oh, I didn't mean anything by it," but then she'd continue to make remarks anyway. She just doesn't get it.

So the question I face: What do I do about it? What can I do about it? Would anything I try work? People like her just make me so angry because they're so IGNORANT! And even more than that, they are completely unsympathetic and uncaring when it comes to children like Beauty. I just want to hit this woman over the head with a "CLUE BAT," you know - you hit them on the head and then all of a sudden, they get it? Yeah, someone needs to invent the Clue Bat.

I found this a while ago...

2010-01-19T22:45:00.004-07:00

This was so funny I had to share it. Those of you with special kids will TOTALLY get it!

http://blog.autismspeaks.org/2009/12/23/the-12-days-of-autism-christmas/

What a week!

2010-01-14T22:43:00.004-07:00

Things have been kinda crazy (and scary) the last few days. Since it's late though, I don't have the energy to lay out all the details, so here's a quick recap:

Macho got sick, then Beauty got sick, now they're both on antibiotics. They each have diarrhea now, since antibiotics cause diarrhea. I feel so bad for Beauty too, 'cause she's missed out on preschool this whole week. I can tell she's been restless.

Beauty's EEG bill came in. After insurance paid their part, we still had to pay nearly $550!!! Insurance coverage just isn't what it used to be.

We finally called an electrician to check out the wiring in our house. We've had a lot of lights flickering ever since we moved in, but we procrastinated and waited until yesterday to finally have someone come check things out. Also, fyi, we've never needed to change any of the light bulbs 'cause none of them have gone out. I bring this up because.....

Every single light bulb in the house was 100 watts, and every single wire in our house was burned and/or melted!!!! Even the screws or bolts that held the base of the light to the ceiling had gotten so hot that they welded together! The electrician looked at me and said, "I'm surprised there hasn't been a fire in this house yet." Thank you, Heavenly Father, for keeping us safe!

We now have new wires , a new outlet in our room (the wires for the outlet were completed melted too), and all the light bulbs in the house are no more than 60 watts. Do yourself a favor - CHECK YOUR LIGHTBULBS! The electric guy said that no bulbs inside a home should be more than 60 (except lights outside the door or in a garage).

After he spent 4 hours checking and replacing everything, we had to pay the nice man for his services. It was well worth the $300 bucks to prevent our home from going up in flames!

So, after the kids being sick, paying hospital bills, paying the electrician and buying a bunch of new light bulbs, we're a little poorer, but we're all safe and regaining our health again.

Like I said - What a week!

The one brightspot - I've lost another pound! =) Just 5 more pounds to go!

New Jewelry from Zales for Autism

2010-01-07T14:10:00.005-07:00

http://www.zales.com/category/index.jsp?categoryId=3573997&fbc=0&sr=1&origkw=shared%20heart

Zales has a new line of jewelry called "The Shared Heart." A portion of the sales goes to Autism Speaks for continued research. Their campaign ends in May. No matter how much they're able to sell, Zales is giving a minimum of $200,000 (which is so cool of them!). If you'd be interested in participating, go to the link above and have a look around.

It's crazy to hear the latest study that it's no longer 1 in 150 children will be born with Autism, but now it's 1 in 110!!! That is just insane!

The New Year is starting well...mostly

2010-01-04T14:35:00.007-07:00

One New Year's resolution a lot of people make is to take better care of themselves by losing weight and eating better, but I got a head start this year. I'm very happy to report that after watching what I eat the last 4 months (and not being on that horrible medication anymore), I've lost 24 lbs! I am now only 6 lbs away from reaching my normal weight. This also means that I'm finally back down to a size 12! YAY!!! Now all that's left is for me to continue doing what I'm doing so I can reach my ideal weight and be able to wear a size 10 again. I hope to reach this goal sometime in the next 4-5 months.

I mentioned this in a previous post, but it's worth mentioning again: Beauty is beginning to form her own sentences! Thank you, Heavenly Father! Beauty really has come a long way this past year. She's speaking more, having less tantrums, screaming less (although she still screams quite a bit) and she's much more social than she used to be. Husband and I are quite impressed with how well she's doing and how quickly she's achieving new goals. Mostly, we're just grateful that our daughter is making such huge strides in such a short time period. We really are very lucky that her autism is mild.

BTW, Beauty had another playdate Dec. 30th with her "boyfriend." When they drove up, she dashed up to the window to wave hello. When he and his mom came inside, she said, "When he saw Beauty, he said "Beauty! I love you!'" Ah, the romance continues! =)

Recently, Macho has not been sleeping very well. He hasn't been sick, he's not teething, and his diaper is always clean, so basically there's no obvious reason why he's not sleeping. During the last 2-3 months, Macho usually falls asleep around 8 pm, wakes up around 5 and then just stays awake. Somtimes he wakes up at 2 am and stays awake for the next 2 hrs. Some of you might say, "Hey, that's not bad!" Compared to how he used to sleep, however, it's not good at all. He used to fall asleep at 7 pm and wake up at 7 am the next day, without waking up once! I'd really like for him to sleep like that again! Now most people would tell me, "Well, don't let him take a nap during the day anymore" or "Put him to bed later." However, during Husband's research, he found that the most common reason why toddlers wake up during the night is because they need more sleep, not less. So, I'm not quite sure what to do to help him sleep better. Macho eats well before bed and he always has something to drink about an hour before bed so he's not thirsty. The only thing left to do is ask the pediatrician what he thinks.

I'm really hoping the New Year is kind to us. I'd like my kids to sleep better and be healthier. I'd like my husband to work less and be home more with his family. And for me, I'd really like to sleep 8 hrs a night! I'd also like my fibromyalgia to go away, but I just have to face reality and accept the fact that I'm stuck with this the rest of my life. Hopefully I can manage it better with my new medication. We'll see how it turns out.

Oh, I almost forgot...I've recently been released from my calling as Relief Society Secretary. The bishop released the entire presidency, which is good 'cause the RS President has had that calling for nearly 8 years! For me, I'm kinda bummed about it because I was only in my position for a little over a year. I'm really going to miss working with the sisters, but I'm sure I won't have time to miss it for long. Surely, the bishop will find something else for me to do!

Awesome Christmas! =D

2009-12-27T22:32:00.009-07:00

For photos of the kids, feel free to view my Facebook photo album: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=64662&id=826059556&l=e1d799cba8

We kind of had a "spread out" Christmas this year. We began giving/opening gifts at least a week before Christmas day actually arrived. I guess we were just so excited to get the ball rolling! We received some very generous and thoughtful gifts this year, but it was our children who really scored! lol

A couple of Macho's favorite gifts: a new remote controlled train set and a toy fire truck with rotating ladder, working siren and flashing lights. He's been playing with those non-stop, back and forth for the last 3 days.

A couple of Beauty's favorite gifts: a Minnie Mouse cheerleader doll and an aquadoodle mat. She loves taking the water pens and brush and drawing everywhere with the water.

The kid's ultimate favorite gifts: New Bicycles! Their aunt (my sister) bought Macho a new tricycle and she bought Beauty a new bicycle. Both have training wheels so they can't fall down anywhere. The kids just can't play with them enough! The hard part is teaching them how to steer. I imagine it'll be a while before they get the hang of it, especially since we can't practice outdoors because of all the snow, but they'll get it eventually.

My absolute favorite gift was a 100% Cashmere sweater (in red, of course) that Awesome Husband bought me. I absolutely love it! I don't know what Husband's favorite gift was, but I know he liked everything I gave him.

I have to say that the thing I was most grateful for happened a few days before Christmas. Beauty has recently been imitating everything we say, which is great because it's a form of talking, but since it's only imitating, it didn't demonstrate that she was capable of forming her own thoughts into sentences. About a week ago now, Husband and I were upstairs and I was putting on a pair of socks. Beauty looked right at me and said, "Mama sock." Neither one of us have ever said those words to her in that order before, so that was a spontaneous sentence from Beauty herself! This is frickin' fantastic!!! It's the first sign EVER that she is capable of putting her thoughts into a sentence. It's basically the first sign that one day, she will be able to really communicate. Beauty has said more sentences similar to this, such as "Dada eat," and everytime she does, I can't help but get a huge smile on my face. =D

I'm grateful for so many things this year, but overall, getting that first glimmer of hope that Beauty will one day be able to speak to me (and other people) was such a blessing. That was truly the icing on the cake!

EEG Details AND RESULTS

2009-12-24T21:03:00.009-07:00

So last Thursday (the 17th) my little Beauty had an EEG done. Long story short: the pediatrician thinks the night terrors she's been having the last 8 months may actually be mini-seizures. The EEG had to be done to confirm this. Now, let me just say, whether you have an autistic child or not, no kid wants 23 wires stuck to their head. However, autistic children REALLY don't like it. Beauty's always had a hypersensitivity issue when it comes to her head (brushing her hair in the morning - every morning- results in screaming), so you can just imagine how unhappy she was to have this procedure done.

The fun began the night before, where I had to put Beauty to bed two hours later than usual, then I had to wake her 2 hours earlier than normal the next morning, plus I was not allowed to give her any food. The medicine used to sedate her could cause nausea, so they didn't want her to eat. We arrived at Primary Children's Hospital near the University of Utah, entered the building, and Beauty immediately became extremely tense. By the time we got inside the room where the hospital bed was, she was already throwing herself on the floor and trying to escape. She continued screaming for a solid 15 minutes. The procedure was a sedated EEG, meaning that she'd drink medicine to help her fall asleep. In other words, it does not completely knock her out.

She drank the medicine with no problems and the nurse told us (me and my sister) it would take up to 20 minutes for full effect. Ten minutes later, Beauty started to feel funny, and it made her panic. She started whining and she didn't want me to approach her, which was very odd because she usually allows me to try and comfort her. Then she tried leaving the room, but since she couldn't open the door, she just stood against it. About 30 seconds later, she fell. It was as if she had no feet and she just went limp. After that, my sister and I, despite the fact that Beauty didn't want us touching her, grabbed her and held her down so she wouldn't fall and accidentally hurt herself. This caused her to scream and she continued screaming for the next 10 minutes. A few minutes later, she was out like a light, sleeping in the bed.

Everyone came in to start hooking her up for the EEG. The doctor was able to attach about half the wires to Beauty's head before she woke up. Can you imagine falling asleep and waking up to a room full of strangers and weird colored strings attached to your scalp??? Yeah, it's freaky, and she was totally freaked out. The thrashing began and continued for about 10 minutes before the nurse decided it was time to give her another dose of the "sleepy medicine." The next twenty minutes consisted of me, my sister, and her doctor trying to keep Beauty still so the rest of the wires could be put in place. Now, in case you don't know how the wires are stuck on, they use 2 different types of pastes that stick the wire on, and then they use cotton tape to keep it in place. Her hair was a total disaster.

When she finally fell asleep again, the actual exam began. She slept for an hour while the computer monitored her brain waves. When the exam was finished, the doctor came in and quickly removed the wires from Beauty's head. "Quickly" is a relative term, considering that it took some doing to remove the wires without yanking all her hair out. She managed to fall asleep again for another hour, so my sister and I just sat there, waiting for her to wake up. Once she did, we fed her, they discharged her, and I carried her to the car.

The "fun" continued that night when I had to give her a bath and wash her hair. You had to see what her hair looked like; it was like Johnny Depp in "Edward Scissorhands," 'cause her hair was sticking up and sideways and every other direction imaginable, not to mention it was extremely knotted. After three shampoos and a half hours worth of brushing (let's not forget the piercing screams that came out of my beautiful little girl - as if I were ripping her limbs off), her hair was finally back to normal.

It has been such a horrible last three months for Beauty. She got a foot infection, an upper respiratory infection, she had the EEG, and now she has an eye infection. How? Because some stupid idiot (excuse my verbiage) brought their kid to nursery with a drippy eye and they said, "It's ok, it's just allergies." About an hour after we got home, Beauty's eye was drippy, puffy and red. It's hard enough having to put a special antibiotic creme on her feet 3x's a day (she hates people touching her feet), but now I have to put antibiotic eyedrops in her eyes 3x's a day as well. She screams so much now that by the end of the day, I usually end up with a migraine. Thank goodness Awesome Husband has the week off, 'cause I wouldn't be able to put her eyedrops in unless he restrains her.

It's times like this that I have to work really hard to remember that this too shall pass! This is just a small, microscopic moment in our short lives that we need to get through (although it feels like forever). I'm not quite sure what else to say, except that no matter what happens, I love my little girl. I'd rather go through these things and have her in my life than not. My world just isn't complete without her.

EEG Results: The doctor finally called me back today (12/28). Beauty's EEG results are "inconclusive." First, he said the "Beta Waves" that were recorded were considered high, but that could be because of the sedation medicine. Sometimes, that particular medicine can cause the beta readings to come out higher than normal. Second, he said there were "sporatic brain waves." Basically, some brain waves were slightly high, but they were so spread apart that the doctor could not conclusively say they were seizures. She could be having seizures, but they're not strong enough and frequent enough to be called seizures. So, basically that leaves us back at square one.

The doctor asked me how Beauty has been sleeping recently, and I mentioned that ever since she's been on the antibiotic to clear up her foot infection, she's been sleeping just fine. SOOO..... I'm wondering if the reason she's been waking up so much the last 3 1/2 months is related to the foot infection, because it took us a long time to figure out she had an infection. She might've been waking up a lot just because her foot was bothering her. What's the next step? Nothing. We're not going to do any more tests if she's sleeping just fine now. If she does start waking up a lot again, the pediatrician will refer us to a neurologist. I pray she continues to sleep well, 'cause I don't want to put her (and myself) through any more tests!

Heavy Thinking

2009-12-07T23:34:00.003-07:00

I read this book my sister gave me about a mother's struggle to recover her son from Autism. One of the paragraphs really hits the nail on the head for me:

"He stares off into space for minutes at a time. I call his name and snap by his face only to be completely unnoticed. His forearms flap lightly at his sides as if his elbows are attached to his ribs. Then there are those extremely rare moments in which I catch a glimpse of the little boy who is hiding inside the furthest corner of a hollow shell: the look on his face when we hold hands and I spin him around, the way he briefly comes alive when we dance, or his exhiliration when I give him an underdog in the swing. My instinct as his mother tells me he's in there. But he's fading deeper into oblivion as times goes on - further from my grasp. The deep-set panic that he'll be beyond my reach is so severe it controls me. I focus all my time and energy on pulling out the boy I used to know - the boy who occasionally appears when we dance. I shadow his every move, hoping to stave off the monster that threatens to forever consume him."

Every minute of every day my prayer is the same, that one day, I'll be able to finally meet my little girl.

The Fun Continues...

2009-12-03T14:23:00.007-07:00

So both of my kiddies are now on a stronger antibiotic. The first round wasn't quite strong enough to wipe out the infection, but this new antibiotic seems to be doing the trick. Plus, the pediatrician wanted to see if a stronger antibiotic would work on Beauty's foot problem. What foot problem? Glad you asked...

A couple of months ago, Beauty stubbed her left toe and cut herself. Her foot seemed fine, but within a couple of weeks it started looking different. By the end of the month, both of her feet seemed to have developed an odd rash. The pediatrician gave me a cream for her, believing it was eczema, however the rash did not improve. Near the end of the second month since the incident, both her feet had developed these "hard shells" around her skin, which I then had to remove; Beauty did not enjoy that. Since her feet began getting worse around the same time she got her upper respiratory infection, the pediatrician decided to give Beauty a stronger antibiotic to see if it would also wipe out the foot problem, now believing it was an infection.

Well hallelujah! It seems the antibiotic is killing off whatever is going on with her feet. I took a look at them this morning and they are much improved. Finally! I'm so relieved because Beauty was waking up a lot at night complaining about her feet, and of course they bothered her during the day, too. So, with the help of modern medicine, both her upper respiratory infection and foot infection are finally clearing up.

Macho is doing much better on his medicine too. His diarrhea and vomitting have subsided and his congestion has cleared up. He is doing really great developmentally as well. He is beginning to say many words very clearly now. Macho has also learned how to go up and down the stairs by himself, which makes me extremely nervous, but he's growing up and I have to let him =( I'm also proud to report that he's learned his shapes, basic colors, and most of the alphabet in both upper and lower case. He can also pronounce all the letters except for 4 of them, but he's trying. Macho will be turning 2 yrs old next month, he's around 34 1/2 inches tall, and he weighs somewhere around 31 pounds. Husband and I often look at him and wonder, "How can someone who looks so small weigh so much?!" Macho just seems to be built like a little football player; wide shoulders, long torso and a lot of muscle. We'll see what happens in the future.

I'll try to make this short: Beauty has been waking up a lot at night due to night terrors, however the pediatrician now believes these are not night terrors but small, tiny seizures occurring in her brain. To confirm this, he has scheduled an EEG for her, but this won't happen until the 17th. She needs to be sedated since it requires the doctors hooking up wires on and around her head (which she would never allow). I'm very nervous about her being put under anesthesia, but I know it's the only way they'll be able to do the test on her. I just pray that she's not allergic to something I'm unaware of. I also hate that the test is scheduled for 11 am and she's not allowed anything to eat or drink except water!

Beauty, despite her medical issues, is developing quite well. She'll be turning 4 yrs old next month, she's around 40 lbs and is 39 inches tall. Despite the fact that her diet is extremely limited, she is very healthy (probably thanks to all the Pediasure she drinks). Beauty is now beginning to say multiple-word phrases and she is becoming more social with other children. She and Macho finally get along pretty well now. It used to be that Beauty would push and hit him a lot because he was always "in her space." Now they play and laugh together, which is really great to see. I'm also very happy to see that Beauty is learning how to write her letters. She writes them in upper-case form and there are about 10 letters that she still needs help with, but she can write the rest of them pretty much perfectly.

Quick update on my health - No, I do not have allergies. The doctor I saw at the Instacare truly believed I had allergies, but after 4-5 days of being on the allergy meds and seeing no results, I'm now being referred to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. My appointment is next week, so we'll see how that goes.

Well, this turned out to be a lot longer than anticipated. Sorry if I bored you. =)

Sickness Update....

2009-11-29T22:31:00.003-07:00

Well, it turns out the reason both my kids have been sick is because they had upper respiratory infections, which of course, require antibiotics to kill off. They were on a "weaker" antibiotic for 5 days, but 2 days later, they are getting sick again. The medicine helped, but it didn't completely get rid of it. We have an appointment tomorrow with the pediatrician to discuss this further and to discuss Beauty's night terror issues. There's also an issue going on with her foot, but that requires a lot of explanation, so I'll save that for later.

As for me, I had to go to an Instacare Saturday afternoon because for the past month, I've been experiencing a drippy nose and a dry throat. This has been happening to me all the time for the last two years. I've even lost my voice quite a number of times because my throat gets so hoarse. You wanna know what the doctor told me was causing my problems? Allergies; that's right - ALLERGIES. I didn't know allergies could cause laryngitis, but I guess you learn something new every day. So, now I'm using a nasal spray daily and I'm also taking Claritin. I have to try this out for the next few days and see if it makes a difference. If it does, then I'll know what to do in the future when I start feeling sick. If it doesn't work, well, then I guess it's back to square one.

Wish my family luck and good health....we really need it!

Trying to keep up...

2009-11-22T22:18:00.005-07:00

I'd like to try and post a blog at least twice a month, but I already know it'll be hard to do. Still, I'll do my best anyway.

Last Friday, Beauty had a play-date with her "boyfriend" from preschool. She was so happy when he showed up at the door and they had a great time playing together. It's great to see how relaxed and happy she is just hanging out with a friend (you know, like a regular kid). When it was time for them to leave, us moms were trying to get our kids to give each other a hug good-bye. Beauty leaned in to give him a hug, and he (let's call him Brian) leaned in and gave her a big ol' kiss on the cheek. Beauty touched her cheek with her hand, tilted her head and smiled. It was the CUTEST thing! I wish I had a camera at that moment.

Macho is still having "intestinal issues," which means it's been a solid month that, on average, I've been changing his diaper every 1/2 hour. I suspect he has a stomach bug, but I'm going to call the pediatrician tomorrow and get his take on this.

I also have to ask the pediatrician about Beauty, because she's been waking up at least twice a night now with night terrors. The other night, she woke up at 1 am and didn't go back to sleep until 4:30 am! Ugh....I was so exhausted.

I'm happy to report that since my last blog 2 1/2 weeks ago, I've lost another 4 pounds! Yay me =) Which means that I am only 9 lbs away from returning to my normal weight. I'm finally fitting comfortably in a size 14 again, but I really can't wait till I'm back down to a size 12. And, if I can lose 10 more pounds after that, I'll reach my ideal weight and be a size 10 again! The last time I was a size 10 was after I had Beauty; that's right, I said after. I lost so much weight after the pregnancy that I dropped 3 dress sizes. I won't hold my breath, but it'll be a happy miracle if I can make that happen again.

On a churchy note, I am the Relief Society Secretary and have been for over a year now. I love my calling and I love the women I work with, which is good 'cause I see them a lot. I bring this up because something interesting happened in church today. I received my new list of sisters to visit teach and of all people, the RS President is on my list. Let me say that again: The Relief Society PRESIDENT. I mean, seriously?? They want ME to visit teach HER? I mean, I spend so much time with her already and I'm sure she's probably getting tired of always seeing me. So, not only do I work with her, but now I have to teach her. It's just so weird; what could she possibly learn from me? I'm a girl in my late 20's and she's in her early 50's. If anything she should be teaching me, which she does all the time anyway, just 'cause she's just such an amazing woman.

Another thing happened in church today, but this was quite embarrassing. At the very end when it was time to leave church, Beauty started making a dash toward the Relief Society room. Why? Because she knows there's a piano in there. As much as I wanted to allow her to play on it, I couldn't because there was another class waiting for the room. She threw a HUGE tantrum, and everyone just stared looking at this beautiful girl throwing herself on the floor. I had my hands full with other stuff, so I had a really hard time getting a good grip on her. Eventually, the RS President had to pick her up for me and take her out the door. Not a good way to end the day at church. Good think my wonderful mother-in-law is giving Beauty a keyboard this week. Hopefully, that'll help ease the "piano fetish."

Finally, today we had quite a snowfall! Poor Hubby had to go out at 10 pm and shovel our driveway so we wouldn't wake up to an ice block in the morning. He's back inside now, drinking a nice mug of hot chocolate and reading his Holmes stories. I'm so grateful for a husband who is willing to get things done, even if it means it inconveniences him. He even helped me get Tons of chores done this weekend so I wouldn't have so much to do before Thanksgiving (which, btw, I am hosting this year). I truly picked the perfect man to be with for time and all eternity. I love him so much =)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone and hopefully I'll blog again soon.

It's been a while...again

2009-11-04T21:21:00.008-07:00

There are a lot of things that have happened over the last few months worth mentioning, but if I talked about everything in detail, I'd end up writing about 10 pages worth! So, I'm gonna try to keep each "bullet point" short and sweet so you don't get bored or tired reading my blog =)

1- Beauty started preschool in early September. I thought she'd have a hard time adjusting because they moved her special ed autistic class to a different school, but since all her teachers and classmates were the same, she got right back in the swing of things.

2- Beauty is finally drinking from a regular cup! She won't drink anything except water in a regular cup (her brain thinks that milk should be in a bottle, juice should be in a sippy cup, and water should be in a regular cup). I'm just happy that she's finally taken that next step.

3- Macho has been weened off the binky. I wish I could say that it happened because I had the willpower not to give it to him. The reality is he got real sick a couple of months back and was unable to sleep with it, so I just took it away and never gave it back. Now he goes to sleep all on his own without sucking on a binky.

4- This may not seem like a big deal for most people, but this was a HUGE step forward for Beauty; she finally started eating Ritz crackers! It's a really big deal because her mouth sensitivity issues keep her from eating SO MANY things. To finally be able to give her crackers to snack on means that eventually (hopefully), she will learn to eat a wider variety of foods.

5-Beauty made a friend in preschool - a boyfriend. According to the teachers, they do everything together. They swing, play, take turns on the computer; they're pretty much inseparable. It's really cute when I drop Beauty off at school, he'll see her and run away from the teacher towards my daughter so he can say hi. Young love =) If you'd like to see a picture of Beauty and a different boy (that's right, there's more than one), my Hubby has a picture posted on his blog: http://robert.walkertribe.com/2009/09/reeling-them-in.html

6- Macho won't shut up! lol Seriously though, I love that he talks and attempts to say new things all the time, but sometimes I'd really like some peace and quiet! I guess I won't get any of that until the kids are out of the house. He is doing really well though. He'll be two in a couple of months, he's almost 30 pounds, 34"tall and he's built like a linebacker! I wouldn't be surprised if he plays football one day, I think he'd be good at it.

7- A downside lately is that both kids have not been sleeping well. Macho usually sleeps from 7 pm to 7 am every night, straight through. But lately he's been waking up around 5 am and not being able to settle back down. It's mostly because he's had really bad "intestinal issues," so I've been changing his diaper every 20 minutes. Beauty's issue has been night terrors. She's been having them more often so she'll wake up screaming at all hours of the night and getting her to calm down and fall back to sleep takes a long time. Needless to say, I'm tired =(

8- Hubby and I have decided that we really need to be more proactive with helping Beauty get better. We realize there is no cure for Autism, however there are treatments available to help children get over some of their autistic tendencies. The downside is the treatment we're looking into (ABA= Applied Behavior Analysis) costs roughly $30k a year. It's an in-home program where specially trained instructors spend about 8 hrs a day with Beauty to work on her weaknesses, such as communication. We're looking into ways to come up with the financing. Please pray that we are able to make this work!

9- We recently had to take Beauty in for a couple of foot x-rays. Needless to say, it was rather difficult making her sit still. Hubby posted a rather amusing blog about it: http://robert.walkertribe.com/2009/10/five-stages-of-x-raying-child.html

10- Beauty had her first school pictures taken last Wednesday. According to the photographer (who called me because they were having a problem getting my child to sit still), Beauty kind of freaked out when she saw all the lights and the step stool they wanted her to sit on. They sent her back to the class, waited for her to calm down, then brought her back with a toy for her to play with. Eventually, they got a good picture. Once I get it, I'll show it off =)

11- Mommy moment: I put Beauty to bed the other day and without any prompting, she looked right at me and said, "I love you." It made me all teary-eyed.

12- I'll try to make this short: The mother of Beauty's friend (the boy) contacted the teacher the other day asking if there was a girl in the class named "Beauty." The teacher said yes and the mom requested to speak with me. I gave her a call and it turns out she found out about my daughter because her son said a prayer for her the other night. Isn't that sweet?! He also has a doll with brown hair and when he plays with it, he pretends it's my daughter. I think it's really cute, although Hubby said, "You know, if he were older, I'd say he was a stalker." I got a laugh out of that.

13- And last but not least...I'm finally off that horrible medication that was blowing me up like a balloon! I transferred to a new doctor and he told me to stop taking Lyrica and to try a new medication to help with my Fibromyalgia. The only negative side effect is nausea, but a major positive is that it helps you lose weight. I'm happy to report that since I stopped taking Lyrica (which was almost 2 months ago), I've lost 17 lbs. Whoo-hoo!!! I'd like to lose another 13 lbs (which would put me back at the weight I was before the medication), but my ultimate goal is to lose 23 lbs, which would put me at my ideal weight. Wish me luck!

Okay, I think that sums it all up. I'm gonna try to blog more frequently so I don't end up with these enormously long story-like blogs. Oh, one more thing I have to say...WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, BABY! Congrats to my Yankees on winning the WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!

For anyone interested in some pictures

2009-09-11T20:56:00.002-06:00

I'd been meaning to post pictures of our new home for nearly a year, but I kept getting side-tracked. I finally got around to it and I posted the photos on facebook. Below is a link to view the photos for those interested.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=102984&id=826059556&l=02824caee4

Also, below is another link to general photos I have on facebook. This is nowhere near the amount of photos I have of the kids, but I'm still working on uploading all my photos to winkflash. I've made some progress recently, but there are still a few kinks to work out.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=64662&id=826059556&l=e1d799cba8

Take care all!

My son has a disease???

2009-09-06T17:04:00.005-06:00

Yup, that's right. Only my kids get these weird sicknesses. Let me explain what's been going on:

Last Monday or Tuesday, I noticed that Macho had some kind of rash appear on his face. I thought it might have been a heat rash and since he didn't seem bothered by it, I wasn't worried. I also noticed a day or so before that he had a bit of a runny nose, but it wasn't continuous. I just cleaned him up and that was that. Then last Thursday, I noticed he was really warm. I took his temperature and it was 103F! After several attempts to get him to take his medicine and not being successful (he kept throwing it up), I took him to the pediatrician. Macho has Fifth Disease. (if you want to know why it's called that, click here: http://www.webmd.com/hw-popup/where-fifth-disease-got-its-name

Fifth Disease, simply put, is a high fever accompanied by a rash. I was told to continue giving him medicine to control the fever, so that's what I've been doing. I have to mix it into his juice so he won't throw it up. Anyway, now that his fever is finally gone, the rash (which up till now was only on his face) is now all over his body. Further investigating by Husband (http://children.webmd.com/tc/fifth-disease-symptoms) informed us that this rash can last up to 4-5 weeks!!

The only upside is that even though the rash looks bad, in most cases it's not itchy. The other upside is that once the rash has appeared, the disease is no longer contagious. It did say, however, that Macho was probably contagious for 2-3 weeks before any symptoms appeared. So for anyone I've been in contact with during that time, if you have kids and they get sick with this - I'm REALLY Sorry!!!

Lots to catch up on!

2009-08-20T19:32:00.004-06:00

It's been a long while since I've had time to get on the computer and do something I want to do instead of something I have to. There's been a lot going on recently, although now that I try to think of them all, I can't quite remember them. I'll do my best...

First, my dad, his fiancee, and my brother came to visit from FL in mid-June. It was such a blast having them here! Plus, it was so great to see my brother again. I hadn't seen him since he was 10 and now he's 17 years old! I had such a great time with them and my dad just went nuts visiting with his grandkids. Beauty took to him quite well, better than I expected. She must've known he was her grandpa. One of the highlights of the trip was all the food - seriously. We had a TON of food! I probably gained at least 5 pounds that week and then another 5 the week after because of all the leftovers, but how can a person say no to ribs and steak and sausage....aw man, my mouth is watering. Gotta stop talking about food. Their week stay was just so much fun; we hung out at their condo a lot, we went to the zoo, the kids rode the carousel, we visited temple square and Snowbird, but the best part was spending time with my family. I hope we can do it again soon.

In July, Macho had his 18 month appointment. He's strong, healthy and either on track or ahead in certain areas. He's 25 pounds and nearly 34" tall, which is almost as tall as Beauty was at that age. Macho's diet is well-rounded as evidenced by his stomach, but the doctor was mostly impressed with how well he communicates. Normally, kids his age can clearly say a handful of words. Macho has about 8-10 words he says almost perfectly and a whole list of other words he's practicing, not to mention the words he knows in sign language. I think the doctor was mostly relieved because it seems that Macho will not have autism like his sister. We're not out the woods yet, but it looks like he's fine in that regard.

Beauty starts preschool Sept. 9th and I can't wait! I mean, I'm not looking forward to having a hectic schedule again, but I really want Beauty to be in school again because I know how beneficial it'll be for her. The only downside is that the special autistic class is no longer held in the same school, so that might be a big adjustment for her. Everything else about the class is the same though, including all 5 teachers.

Beauty has also improved a lot these last 2 months with her verbal communication. With the help of her little brother, she's saying a lot more words and continuing to attempt new words all the time. Her newest word is "oopy," or poopy. So instead of just signing the word to me when she has a wet or dirty diaper, she says it. I love hearing more of her beautiful little voice!

My biggest problem as of late is my weight. Since I started my new Fibromyalgia medication last December, I've gained 30 pounds. So, I decided that it was time I started dieting. I've done this diet once in the past and it worked really well for me. I lost 2-3 lbs a week, so I figured that I would lose weight just as quickly doing the same diet. Boy was I wrong! Because of just how strong this medication is, I've only lost 4 lbs in 2 months. I've already cut out 700 calories from my daily diet, though I still have areas for improvement (like drinking more water). Anyway, I've been real confused as to what I should do. Do I continue the medication, which significantly relieves my muscle pain, but makes me blow up like a balloon and makes me feel fatigued during the day? Or, should I discontinue the medication and be able to fit into my clothes again? The real problem is that there's only one medication for fibromyalgia, so if I stop the medicine, there's no other medicine I can take.

Overall, we're doing ok. Awesome Husband has been working late a lot the last couple of months, but we're hopeful that their latest project will be over soon. I can't believe it's going to be September already, which means I'll need to start thinking about Christmas soon! I love Christmas =)

Comment about a previous post

2009-08-20T19:01:00.005-06:00

I've been meaning to make a comment about a blog I posted on 6/22. Oddly enough, people became rather worried about me after reading it, and I guess it's my own fault since I didn't word things clearly enough. So, just for the record - No, I'm not depressed! People seem to have misunderstood what I meant by "happy people," but notice how it's in quotation marks? You see, I've noticed that with most of the blogs I read, people have nothing but absolutely fabulous things to talk about. Their kid did something super cute , or they're excited about an upcoming event, or they're just putting a positive spin on something that upset them. Now, I'm all about trying to be positive or talking about something funny my kid did, but I also talk about real, every day life. Meaning, I talk about the bad and the good.

I've noticed people seem to be scared to talk about the difficulties they're having. No one talks about their financial troubles or health problems. No one mentions if they've had a really bad day and they're really cranky. No one says hardly anything negative in a blog and the question I pose is, Why? I mean, if all a person did was talk about negative things, I'd be worried about them. But can't the same be said if the opposite were true? If a person only posted positive things, wouldn't anyone be concerned whether or not they were in denial about something or if they were keeping their worries and feelings bottled up? Everyone has bad days, so why don't people feel comfortable talking about them? Anyway, that's what I meant by "happy people," the people who only talk about great things and never talk about anything bad. Maybe I'm the only one that's bothered by this. Oh well.