My Notable Husband =)

For those not on Facebook, here is the blog post from TargetProcess (the company who hosted the Kanban Board Contest) regarding the contest and the winner, my Awesome Husband!

TargetProcess Blog

So proud of you honey! Love you!!!

Contest Results!

A few days ago, I asked for your votes to help my Awesome Husband win an online competition on Facebook. I don't know exactly what a Kanban Board is or what it does, but he created a Digital Kanban Board to use at work. A friend of his found out about the online competition and suggested that he enter. The prize for the winner - a free iPad! We've been saying for at least a year how much we'd love an iPad to assist in our daughter's therapy. What harm could come from entering the competition, right? Well, he did - and we ended up getting more than we bargained for.

With two days left in the contest, Husband was one of the top two leaders. The rules for the contest (at the time) was simply to collect as many votes as possible, the two entries with the most votes would be judged by the company hosting the contest, and they would decide who the winner is. Suddenly, a new entry came in and they began collecting votes - a lot of votes. Not just that, their votes were very steady and consistent - too consistent. They managed to surpass Husband's entry and the other entry in the top position. I smelled something fishy.

I began looking at the list of people who voted for this particular entry and noticed too many similarities. I, along with my husband and sister, noticed that most of these Facebook profiles looked brand new and a lot of them looked exactly the same. Both my husband and I (along with some others) reported the suspicious activity to the company hosting the competition. While the company began an investigation, they had to do something to bypass the suspected cheater's efforts, so they decided to change the rules. Instead of judging between the top two, they'll judge between the top six. It seemed like a good idea (but wow... they had no clue what they just did...

Of all the entries in the competition, my husband was the only U.S. resident. Also, my husband's entry was the only digital version - meaning it was a computer program. All the other entries were Kanban Boards, but they were either white boards or calendars (or sticky notes). When the other contestants saw the rule change, most of them immediately became very angry. They began saying things like, "Well it's obvious the digital board is gonna win 'cause he's from the USA; it's not fair." Some people wrote, "India never wins anything, pick one from India!" Someone else wrote, "Our boards are valid! Just 'cause they're not digital doesn't mean they're not good; this is how businesses run!"

Then it really started to get ugly. With one day left in the competition, everyone began ganging up on my husband! They began accusing him of not writing the program himself. They said he must've copied it somewhere off the Internet and that he should prove he wrote it. Then, after my husband did just that, they still kept picking on him. They wanted him out of the competition and they kept looking for ways to make it happen. They said things like, "Our boards are 'original' and yours isn't better just 'cause it's digital."

Once the competition was officially closed and it was time for judging, people kept urging the company to select the entry with the most votes because they're not from the USA and "they win everything!"  I was so upset seeing all these hateful comments, not just regarding the USA but regarding my husband personally. I've just never seen people act this way; they were practically bullying my husband, and for what? Because they didn't want him to win an iPad? Because they wanted their country to win? I mean, that shouldn't even be a factor! This contest was supposed to be simple, and it turned into a political platform.

At the end of the day last Friday, instead of a winner being announced, the host company had to delay picking a winner due to investigating the suspected cheater, and also because they were receiving complaints regarding the validity of "certain entries." Unbelievable, right?!

SO - Here's the wrap-up!

1- Yesterday, my husband WON!!! That's right; our new, Free iPad is on its way! I'm so excited!
2- The suspected cheater was indeed cheating, and therefore his entry was disqualified.
3- No one else gave any complaints regarding my husband winning (probably because they received consolation prizes)

So much for entering a simple contest, huh?!

P.S. - The cheater mentioned above runs some very "shady" sites on the web. If you run into these pages, DO NOT ENGAGE!  Company FB Page   Company Blog    Personal FB Page

Can We Rest Yet?

I never know where to start when it comes to my son; my beautiful, energetic little boy, who believes it's his job to truly drive me crazy! I do know I love him, and I guess that's a good start!

The last time I discussed Macho, I mentioned how he developed the infuriating habit of waking up at 4:30 am every day for the last 3 months. Well, fast forward nearly two months and that brings us up to 5. Almost 5 full months of waking up at 4:30 am (or earlier) almost on a daily basis. Naturally, we brought this issue up with his pediatrician. His advice was to remove the toys from his room and ignore him if Macho makes noise or plays instead of going back to sleep. The doctor believes if I simply ignore my son, he will eventually go back to sleep. The doctor also believes that if I ignore him, I will be allowed to sleep. (Silly doctor.) 

Here's what we've tried to "convince" my son to go back to sleep:

1- Removed the light bulbs from the ceiling light (so he can't turn the light on)
2- Removed the noise making toys from his room.
3- Ignored him when he wakes up.
4- "Whisper Yelling" - you know, where you can't yell at the top of your lungs 'cause everyone is asleep, so you just whisper as loud as you can? I whisper yell at him all the time, "Go to bed!"
5- Turning off his night light.
6- Sleeping in the bed with him, constantly "reminding" him to go to sleep

I'm sure we've tried other things too, but I'm too tired to remember them!  All of the above tactics have failed. Any new tactics/ideas are welcome, but they will most likely fail as well. You see, my son has ADHD (though the diagnosis is not official). When my son wakes up, he truly just isn't tired anymore and cannot go back to sleep. Here's what happens when we try the tactics listed above:

1- He removes the covering off his night light so he can see.
2- He's decided he doesn't need to play with toys anymore; now he reads a book (out-loud)
3- He begins screaming, coughing and vomiting if I don't enter the room.
4- He ignores me
5- He screams and throws up
6- He lays in bed with his eyes open.

Here's what I need from my pediatrician: DRUGS!!! I'm serious. My son needs some melatonin in a bad way! I've tried other things too that most parents try when they want their child to sleep in later. I've tried putting my son to bed later. I've tried feeding him a heavy meal. I've tried making it as dark as possible so that his body will naturally begin to feel tired (but that doesn't work now; thanks a lot Daylight Savings). I've also tried giving him some Benadryl to help him sleep through the night (WITH the pediatrician's approval, so don't nobody get all upset and call CPS). Seriously, nothing works.

My son is very active, even in his sleep he can't stay still. He's constantly tossing and turning (which explains why he works up a sweat while sleeping). On top of that, he's also an extremely light sleeper. Despite the fact that we have a white-noise background in his room, he still hears if someone walks down the hallway. If he thinks people are awake then he wants to be awake too.

At the end of this month (which is only a week away), if I'm still having difficulty getting my son to sleep through the night, then the pediatrician will call in a prescription of melatonin. I really wish he would just listen to me from the beginning. My son has problems - issues - quirks - whatever you want to call them (because I can't get a frickin' diagnosis out of these so-called professionals). If these doctors would just listen to me and see that I am an educated woman who has done her research and knows what she's talking about - if they would just listen - I wouldn't be having so many difficulties with Macho. At the very least, I would've been able to start sleeping through the night two months ago, when I initially brought this up to his doctor.

Kanban Voting on Facebook!

If you have a Facebook account, we could really use your help! My Awesome Husband has written some great code and created a program that has made life easier for the developers at his company. It's a Kanban Board, and he entered his program in an online contest for Best Kanban Board. The top two people with the most "likes" will be judged and then a winner will be chosen. The winner gets....

A FREE IPAD!!!!  

I'm so excited at the idea of winning an iPad! Do you know all the wonderful stories recently about the iPad and its uses for children with special-needs and Autism? Man, if we can win this, I can just picture Beauty using it and learning SO MUCH MORE!

But we can't win without your help!  If you've got a Facebook account, here's what you need to do:

"Like" TargetProcess' Facebook Page, then
"Like" my Awesome Husband's post on their wall.

That's it! Voting ends March 24, this Thursday! So get those mouse clicks in and hit those "like" buttons!

Thank you everyone!!!

Sign-Language & ASDs Should Go Hand In Hand

I wrote this post for my autism blog yesterday. Since it has absolutely nothing to do with me or my family personally, I only posted it there. If you'd like to read it, here's the link:

http://speakingonthespectrum.blogspot.com/2011/03/sign-language-asds-should-go-hand-in.html

They Said What???

The other day we had some guests over. During the visit, something happened. While I can't call it an "incident," it is something that's been bothering me and I really need to get it out of my head.

We were all gathered in our living room downstairs, the TV was on and I had just put in a new DVD for Beauty to watch. She, however, was hiding in the playroom, nervous about what was on the television. She was sitting on her trampoline with her fingers in her ears. I tried to tell her it was OK, that she could come out and she'd like what was on TV, but she refused. Then I did something stupid. I thought, if I could just get her into the living room, she could see what was on the TV and she'd calm down. Since she wouldn't come willingly, I decided to pick her up and bring her to the living room. Big mistake (one I won't make again).

She kicked and screamed as if a limb were being torn off. Beauty was so nervous that she kept her eyes closed, her fingers in her ears and she begged me to let her go: "Mama, I want down please!" After she asked twice (actually, she yelled really loud), I let her go since it was obvious my idea wasn't working. She quickly ran back to the playroom. I then apologized to our guests. I mentioned to them how lately I've been trying to push Beauty out of her comfort zone a little bit, but it's still really hard. Before I could mention WHY it's been hard (for example, need for routine, sensory issues, anxiety, etc...), I heard these words come out of one of our guest's mouth: "Well, she's learned if she screams, you give in and she gets what she wants. All she had to do was scream."

Did you catch that? My autistic daughter closes her eyes, plugs her ears, and screams - on purpose - just so she can get what she wants. Wow, they really know a lot about autism, don't they? They're a real expert, aren't they? In case you can't tell - I'm being sarcastic.

I cannot believe that people STILL do not understand what autism is and what it does to a child. What makes me even angrier is that I allowed this person into my home and will probably have to allow them back into my home again in the future. The least they could do is educate themselves about the effects of autism before they came into MY house and pass judgment on ME and my DAUGHTER!

NO - My daughter was NOT screaming on purpose just to get what she wanted. She was having a severe sensory overload! Not to mention the mini-anxiety attack I caused by picking her up. I should NOT have grabbed her against her will. When something new is on TV, she hides and plugs her ears - why? Because she doesn't know if it's going to be loud, what kind of menu it's going to display, if it's a cartoon or "regular" TV... there are a number of things that make her extremely cautious. Eventually she does enter the room, but only once she's comfortable and even then, she only enters the living room one very small little step at a time. So - she wasn't kicking and screaming for attention - like an atypical child - she was legitimately stressed and overwhelmed.

I was expecting more understanding from our guests. I was shocked and surprised, simply because my daughter received her autism diagnosis three years ago. You'd think they would've educated themselves a little bit by now, so that at the very least they can be prepared when entering my home.

I think in the end, what really bothers me in general, is the opinion that autism is an excuse for "bad parenting."  When I hear comments like the one mentioned above, that's the sort of thing that pops in my head: "They think I'm being a bad parent and that's why my daughter acts that way."  I know I can't change people's way of thinking and I can't change everyone's opinion, but I should be given the benefit of the doubt. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a lazy parent. I'm not one of those parents who lets their kids run a muck like little monkeys on caffeine. I don't let my kids get away with things and I make sure to teach my kids responsibility (like cleaning up after themselves).

I am a GOOD mother. The person who made the comment, if they had taken a few seconds to think about it, would not have said a comment like that to me about my daughter (well really, the comment was more about my parenting style). They should know the type of person I am and they should know my daughter has autism. She has legitimate problems and unlike "regular" kids, she does NOT throw tantrums; she has meltdowns (there IS a difference). She does NOT scream on purpose for attention; she screams because something is not right. And if my girl throws herself on the floor, there is a legitimate reason and it's up to me to see her plea for help and try to help her.

Once the above remark was made, I was in such shock and amazement by such a lack of education that I simply did not say anything in response. That will not happen again. Next time I hear anything like that said to me, I don't care who says it, I am now prepared and ready to respond. Take that as a warning people: DO NOT come into my home and begin blurting out unnecessary, unwanted, or incorrect parenting tips, advice, or criticisms. They are NOT welcome.

Attention Adults Who Act Childish...

I posted this as a "note" on my Facebook page, but I thought I'd post it here too. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who encounters childish behavior from people who should know better!)

I deal with enough childish behavior from my kids; I don’t need more from others. But if others insist on behaving that way, I will treat them as children. Therefore, effective immediately, these are the new rules between us:

1. I will now apply a system of time-outs to our conversation:
   1. Certain behaviors constitute a violation. These behaviors include but are not limited to:
      1. uncivil comments or behavior
      2. unsolicited advice or criticism
      3. lying
      4. complaining to me about other family members
      5. involving me in your dispute with someone else
      6. being disrespectful of my time
      7. not respecting my right to refuse to do what you ask
      8. asking for my advice, then complaining or getting upset when it is given
      9. asking why someone else is in time-out
   2. At the instant you commit a violation, I may choose to give you a warning, or immediately put you in time-out. If I choose to give you a warning, you will only get ONE warning.
   3. Upon earning a time-out, I will immediately terminate contact with you, even mid-sentence. (Get used to me hanging up the phone.)
   4. A time-out lasts for 24 hours. During that time, any attempt to initiate a conversation will be ignored.
   5. Each subsequent time-out will last 24 hours longer than the last.
   6. Upon emerging from time-out, you will then be on probation, during which contact may resume. Probation lasts seven times longer than the time-out. (A three-day time out is followed by three weeks of probation.) If you attempt to justify your violation during probation, you will immediately earn another time-out. (I DON'T want to hear your excuses.)
   7. If you make it through probation without committing another violation, the time-out duration is reset to 24 hours.
2. I will not keep your secrets. If there is something you don’t want someone else to know, do not tell it to me.
3. Unless I’ve given you specific permission to call, I will not answer the phone before 9 a.m. or after 9 p.m. (Pay attention to the time zones, folks.) If someone I care about is dead or dying, call back again and I’ll answer. (Or if you find out that Grey’s Anatomy has been canceled.)
4. My spouse and kids are my TOP priority. If you ask me to do something that I can’t do without detriment to them, my answer will be NO. Figure out how to resolve your own problems!